running

I've decided I am determined to learn how to LOVE to run. I used to run in junior high and early high school because I was in basketball/athletics, but I hated it. Of course back then, there were no ipods. You probably werent even allowed to bring a "walkman". Sometimes the coach would put a boombox out (yes, a boombox) and play a mix tape she had for off-season running - but still - laps around the basketball courts to old school dc talk really wasnt great - but it was better than running to the sound of everyone's squeaky gym shoes.

I envy runners. I know it leans you out and it's easy to do anywhere... and I've always WANTED to LOVE running. Find the therapy in it. But I dont. I HATE it. My brain wont turn off. I think about how far I've gone. How far I still have to go. How many times I'd have to do what I've already done to finish what I said I would finish. Then when I get really tired, I tell myself I've done enough... and I quit. And then I feel guilty, and defeated, and that's the end of that. Somehow that never happens to me on the elliptical at the gym.. but running... grr....

However - I believe that I have what I need now. I have figured out what will keep me on the road from now until the heat gets unbearable and I move to the gym track. Two things.

1) A great playlist. Finally. I dont normally listen to the kind of music you'd want to run to. Brandi Carlile, Blue October and Katie Herzig dont really get you going. But I've gathered some new favorites and some lists from friends of mine who run - and I feel ready.

2) A photoshopped image of what my body COULD look like if I was a runner... I'm 5'10".. Come on.. I have potential (just based on my height and the fact that I'm a pear shape with long legs) to be really HOT! I took a picture of myself, "liquified" that sucker, perfected my legs and BAM! really? I could look like THAT?!? I am keeping that picture on my iphone. And right next to it, the picture before I edited. And if that isnt a kick in the pants...

So that's it. Those are my tools. That, and I'm going to be running the road - trying to keep my mind from analyzing the track. I'm just going to put everything I have into this.. believing that even *I* can learn to LOVE to run. So... here goes nothing.